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This is a list of ways to scare telemarketers because they're so darn annoying!! Thanks to Emily (go see her site!) for helping me with ideas, and all the people I've heard stories from about scaring telemarketers. I have not tried some of these, but they would be funny!
- Speak a foreign language, or just a made-up one like Pig Latin, Oppish, or Ubbi Dubbi. (Ubbi Dubbi can actually render telemarketers speechless!! ;-> )
- Gather a large group of friends and/or relations. When the telemarketer asks a question, say, "My brother/sister can answer that better then I can," and hand off the phone.
- When the telemarketer asks for "Mr./Mrs. ____," say in an anguished voice, "My mother/father is dead, and thank you very much for bringing that up again!" Hang up.
- Start asking questions like this:
- "What's your name?"
- "How do you spell that?"
- "Where do you live?"
- "Where do you keep your valuables?"
- "And what dates and times are you going to be out of your house?"
After they answer each question, make "mmhmm" sounds, as though you were writing.
- Try to sell something back to the telemarketer.
- Act like your in the mob. ("Uh, da bawss is uh, unavailable at da moment, but we are very interested in your awffah.") If you wish, add in gunshots and screams in the background, or ask the salesperson to "meet the boss at the docks at midnight."
- Tell the telemarketer to hold on. Put the phone down as though you were going to find the requested entity (big word!). Wait about 5 minutes. Inform the telemarketer that the person has not been found yet, but you will gladly continue searching. Repeat continuously. To increase the pain, play muzak.
That's all I can remember for now, but I'll try to put more up soon.
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